Saturday, February 4, 2012

Fullness, a NSV

Friday was my birthday.  My lovely husband took me out for Thai food.  I hoarded points all day so I could eat my Pad Thai with a minimum of guilt.  After all, it's 10 points a cup, and we know what kind of serving sizes most restaurants have.  So, we get settled in at the restaurant and I get to chose the appetizer.  I resisted the calamari and the spring rolls -- both deep fried, but oh so yummy.  I decided to get these shrimp-crab-pork wonton things because they sound relatively healthy.  They were AMAZING.  I could have eaten about 10 of them, but I stuck with my half of the order, just three. 

The entrees arrive and I dive into my Pad Thai.  Dive in because, well, I had been hoarding points all day and frankly, I was starving.   But you know what?  As I ate, I started to feel full.  And for the first time in a long time, I paid attention to what my body was feeling.  I. Stopped. Eating. When. I. Got. Full.  I had half of the plate left, but I pushed it to the side and didn't nibble my way through the rest of it. 

We didn't get desert at the restaurant, but I suggested that we go next door to the Yogi Castle which is a frozen yogurt place.  they had a dozen flavors, all low fat or fat free, so a healthy choice, right?  I was making up my mind what I should get when I realized that I was still full.  I didn't want (nor need) any frozen yogurt.

We walked out without getting anything. 

What the hell?  I listened to my body twice in one evening?  Is this a sign of the apocalypse? 

To normal eaters, it's not big deal to stop eating when you're full.  Normal eaters know when they're full.  They don't feel guilty if they don't clean their plate.  They don't feel anxious that if they don't eat something right then and there, even if they're full or not hungry, that the food will disappear and they'll never have the chance to eat it again.  They don't enjoy the feeling of being stuffed to overflowing. 

However, I am not a normal eater.  I don't think I technically count as a compulsive overeater or as a binger, but I do have some of those tendencies.   I feel a compulsion to clean my plate.  If I can't decide what I want, I sometimes think that I have to order a bit of everything so I don't miss out on something that I will wish later that I had eaten.  It's hard for me to tell when I'm full versus stuffed. 

Normal people would not have viewed this as a victory for me, but it was indeed a victory for me and I'm very proud of myself.  I slowed down, listened to my body, and more imporantly, I heeded what my body was telling me. .  It was indeed an excellent birthday.

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